"What have I gotten myself into?" Been asking this for a couple of days now cos it feels like everything that is happening right now are completely the opposite of what I truly desire. Growing up, I wasn't really that smart ass when it comes to finance, relationship, decision making. You know, stuff about the real world. I've always been this INDECISIVE kid, may it be on the smallest thing like having to choose which stuff to buy. I see it as a way of running away from responsibilities. (I've always hated responsibilities) But when a situation for instance turns out to be bad, I put the blame on others since they were the ones who decided for me. In short, I just didn't like the idea of committing a mistake so I just pass it on to others.

"I was on the verge of having lifetime regrets. Which isn't the most endearing feeling by the way. Things like 'I should have not done this or that, should have not followed him or her' crossed my mind. I was literally asking God why things suck big time."

Eventually, I came to this realization that it has been my decision all along to let others take over my life. I just didn't wanna face it. Responsibilities, hardships and a whole lot more are essential in life. Committing a mistake, stumbling and failing are so natural. I mean how can we even survive the BIGGER problems if we don't get to experience these little ones? Let me site an example. So, let' say I have two plants. One I took care inside my house and the other one outside. The one outside would have to endure heavy rain, heat of the sun and crazy blows of the wind. On the other hand, the one kept inside would obviously not experience any of those. Now, what do you think will happen if I put the plant I've been keeping inside together with the other. Do you think it will be as strong as the one outside? Those plants are like us. And it's by choice if we wanna stay inside or go out and be weathered by life. Life's too short to be scared. I may get depressed at times but surely things like this will pass. People may come and go but I just know that God would never ever let me go.

For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11