"What have I gotten myself into?" Been asking this for a couple of days now cos it feels like everything that is happening right now are completely the opposite of what I truly desire. Growing up, I wasn't really that smart ass when it comes to finance, relationship, decision making. You know, stuff about the real world. I've always been this INDECISIVE kid, may it be on the smallest thing like having to choose which stuff to buy. I see it as a way of running away from responsibilities. (I've always hated responsibilities) But when a situation for instance turns out to be bad, I put the blame on others since they were the ones who decided for me. In short, I just didn't like the idea of committing a mistake so I just pass it on to others.

"I was on the verge of having lifetime regrets. Which isn't the most endearing feeling by the way. Things like 'I should have not done this or that, should have not followed him or her' crossed my mind. I was literally asking God why things suck big time."

Eventually, I came to this realization that it has been my decision all along to let others take over my life. I just didn't wanna face it. Responsibilities, hardships and a whole lot more are essential in life. Committing a mistake, stumbling and failing are so natural. I mean how can we even survive the BIGGER problems if we don't get to experience these little ones? Let me site an example. So, let' say I have two plants. One I took care inside my house and the other one outside. The one outside would have to endure heavy rain, heat of the sun and crazy blows of the wind. On the other hand, the one kept inside would obviously not experience any of those. Now, what do you think will happen if I put the plant I've been keeping inside together with the other. Do you think it will be as strong as the one outside? Those plants are like us. And it's by choice if we wanna stay inside or go out and be weathered by life. Life's too short to be scared. I may get depressed at times but surely things like this will pass. People may come and go but I just know that God would never ever let me go.

For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11
Noise pollution. I often use this word just to describe what my mum does every time she fills our house with her so called 'sermon.' But being a 20 year old now makes me think differently. I used to enjoy listening to loud music, chat with my friends nonstop and wouldn't mind at all if my phone beeps constantly. And it suddenly came to this point where my mind and body were already begging me for SOLITUDE.

Cars honking, cellphones ringing and people chattering. Now these are real noises. Everything's just so loud now, we even got accustomed to it. We sometimes think, sleeping is the only quiet time we have with ourselves. Well I've reached my breaking point. I needed a break.
I've read this book called "The Monk who Sold His Ferrari" by Robin Sharma just recently. One of the strategies stated to life fulfillment is the Ritual of Solitude, where you spend as little as 15 minutes to 50 in still quietness. Some would say they would rather sleep than do this since they don't have time. Well let's put it this way. You're a race car worth millions. Would it then be wise to run all day long everyday  without letting the engine cool down for a bit? Remember, you're worth millions! It's the same with our minds. We need to find time and let it rest for a while.

"Taking time to renew yourself is the most important thing you can do. Ironically, taking time out from your hectic schedule for self-improvement and personal enrichment will dramatically improve your effectiveness once you get back into it." 

Try to have a certain place and a certain time everyday to do reflections. Don't let negative thoughts boggle you while doing it ofcourse. If you know you've done something wrong that day then just think of how you should have reacted to the situation instead.You could also try to commune with nature by going out, breathing fresh air and savoring nature's gifts.

Investment in ourselves is all it takes. Let's stop saying we don't have time for this and that and do have with facebook or that latest movie in theaters. Again, use our minds right. Think. :)
  I was checking out blogs of different people yesterday when I came across this page of Sean Si.Got intrigued with one of his post entitled "Why don’t I feel God anymore? Spiritual Obesity." This was really something. A good thing to ponder on. Aside from that, he also has a whole lot more of good reads and meaningful posts shared on his site. Here's the link to the post: http://h3sean.com/feel-god-anymore-spiritual-fatness/#comment-2462

I'm still not sure 'till now why I bought these two shirts yesterday. Trying to justify what my impulsive action's purpose was, I just ended up with "Okay, I'll let this pass. I really didn't know why I bought it anyway." BUT... Unsurprisingly, that didn't satisfy me. And so I asked myself again. Was it the color? How the letters were printed? The design? Or maybe that big YES has something to do with this. I felt like the word and I really had a connection when I first laid eyes on these shirts.

Well, I guess everyone has done this thing once or twice in their life. Where when someone asks for something and since that person has just been so nice to you, though you know you can't make it, you still give in and say YES. When family and friends ask for financial help and though you're already having a crisis of your own, you still choose to lend them just because it seemed right. Ofcourse everything would seem right on helping but how about you? Have you thought of what's going to happen when you won't have anything left for yourself? This has been the problem I've been dealing with for the longest time now.

I became too busy saying YES to people, I've forgotten to ask myself if I really NEEDED to do it in the first place.

Being a giver is one of women's characteristics. We go gaga on helping others, to the point that we forget ourselves. We try to do pretty much everything and try to please pretty much everyone. And trust me, that's a problem.

Apart from God, ourselves should also be checked in our priority list. Take the courage to say NO once in a while. Declining is not a sin by any means. Should we sacrifice our own happiness for others? Do we have to help and take care of everyone's businesses? Without a doubt, no is the answer. We should weigh things before even giving in.

As for me, I'm gonna start with this shirt. A simple reminder that I have to say YES to strength and courage this time to learn how to say NO. :)

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

I've been having a hard time focusing on things for a couple of weeks now. When I read something, there would be times that I have to start over 'cause I wasn't able to understand what I was reading. Happens on audiovisuals too! Right after a 30 minute aid finishes, I'd be somehow clueless of what I've just listened to and realized that I have unconsciously thought of a different thing while listening to it. Things like this happens, yes. But mine happens FREQUENTLY and it's not doing any good.

Thoughts came to me while I was doing this palipad ng utak awhile ago. Here are the things I've observed that have already become very common to me: stays infront of the laptop while eating, blow-dries hair while listening to podcast, fixes things while watching TV and uses phone while walking. I realized that I was having this habit of MULTITASKING and thought maybe that's the reason behind these things. Well, I was right. Got so alarmed I even googled it. Lack of focus, memory impairment and increase stress levels are some of it's negative effects. Multitasking people tend to have a more difficult time tuning out distractions and also reduces 40 percent of their productivity. (By the way, I'm having this urge of clicking the Facebook tab above since it's blinking with notifications. But since I find it a form of distraction I'm not gonna entertain it until I finish this.) 
I wasn't aware of this until I noticed it's already affecting my routines and how I live life. How it took so much of my time, I could have done more things. So let me end this with these tips I found to stop this bad habit. (You could follow these if you're experiencing the same thing.) Here it goes:

  • Write down things-to-do: Learn to know what your priorities are. When new ideas come up, jot it down and go back to your original task.

  • Limit the distractions: Tell your friends, family or whoever when you are busy so they could leave you alone as you do stuff. Set hours for your availability, letting them speak with you about issues or whatever. Keep yourself attached to the seat until the job is done. Reward yourself with that personal phone call or cup of coffee instead of breaking off for every individual desire.

  • Use a mantra: Remind yourself of a simple phrase while you are doing a task. ‘I will get this done’ or a phrase of your choosing should be used repeatedly. Push yourself into finishing the job by emphasizing the importance of its completion. After all, once it’s done, it’s done.

  • Snap your fingers: When you feel yourself straying, snap your fingers. You might be drawn to the email. You might want to start on that report which is due in a few days. It can wait until you’re done.

  • Keep your desk clear: Out of sight, out of mind. Remove items for your next task from your desk. This will keep you completely aware of the task at hand, rather than allowing your mind to drift to more of your daily chores.

  • Make the decision: Make the conscious decision to do a task. Say to yourself, “I am doing this (task) now.” Repeat the statement each time that you feel yourself straying from the original goal and intention. This trains your brain to cut the extraneous and get to work.

REMEMBER: Do two or more things simultaneously, and you'll do none at full capacity.
Hooray to a well spent day! Who would've thought traveling alone in a foreign country can be this exciting? Nihongo skills were put to test as well since people here can only speak a little of English. But it was really fun though! I love how the trains come on time, how accessible EVERYTHING is and how neat the places are. Long story short I enjoyed the day and looking forward to have another trip somewhere far away! Hihi. You can check out pictures I've taken below. :D
PictureViva City Shopping Center, Hikone (Google Map)
 My destination for tomorrow! I haven't been there YET but since I feel like being the "Dora the explorer" of Japan, I felt the urge to try something new again. Yay! (Excited) Will surely be posting pictures of this so called Adventure tomorrow. Let's all call it a night then! Goodnight and be sure not to let the bed bugs bite! :* 


   Yesterday felt so gloomy, I was crying hard as soon as I woke up. Weird eh? Negative thoughts just bubbled up for some reason. It was the worst feeling ever. I didn't even know who to talk to 'cos people seem to be so busy with their own lives and I might just irritate them or whatever. (Certified emo. -.-) Well it had a fun part though. In the midst of my emotional burst, a sudden thought of reading the Bible came to me. And so I immediately did. While reading, I came to this part where it says:

   "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:24).

   It seriously felt like someone was scolding me for being depressed the whole time. So I was like.. "Sorry naman po." While wearing this child-like smile on my face. Believe me, right after I read the whole chapter, I felt better. In an instant everything changed! The dreary feeling was gone. It was so amusing words can't articulate!

   Well have you read your Bible lately? Let's see what He has to say to you. :)